Yeah, that worries me -- that is a lot and very fast too. Especially since you go on to say you've got fatigue and you have not worked out for 2 weeks.
I really hope you’ll prioritize staying healthy enough -- physically and mentally -- to be there for yourself and your family long term.
Please be careful about immediately jumping toward advice involving stimulants, ephedra, Anavar, steroids, etc.
Those chemicals are not minor things to experiment with casually and can have major health effects.
Also, heads up -- one person replying quickly, frequently and confidently does not automatically mean they’re the best source of guidance. This forum has been getting a lot of guys lately migrating over from bodybuilding/steroid forums, and some people approach weight loss with a very “faster, leaner, harder at all costs” mindset.
That may work for their goals, but your post reads like someone who is trying to balance health, energy, motherhood, appearance, and mental well being all at once.
Before taking advice that could seriously affect your health, sleep, anxiety, and muscle mass, I’d encourage you to spend some time reading older threads from others here who have gone through the final 20–30 lb phase more gradually and sustainably. You’ll probably notice a pattern: many people end up happiest long term when they protect muscle, keep nutrition up, strength train, and avoid turning the process into punishment.
I think losing 30 lbs in 14 weeks is already a very significant rate of loss. The fact that the scale has slowed a little recently does not mean you’re failing or need to escalate aggressively.
One thing I notice is how compassionate you are toward everyone except yourself. You describe other people as beautiful and worthy exactly as they are, but speak about yourself with a level of harshness you would probably never direct at another woman.
You do not sound pathetic or weak. You sound exhausted, overwhelmed, and emotionally vulnerable while trying very hard to “do this right.” The fact that you’re actively trying to break unhealthy self-esteem patterns for your kids says a lot about you in a positive way.
I’d just hate to see you make fear-driven decisions in a low moment that will compromise your health later. Also be aware as you start reta, you can read here on the forum that people can experience fatigue and anhedonia with it as well -- so go slow.
Best wishes, and stay healthy.