College student parents/guardians

[Foggy-Hollow]

My oldest is leaving in /checks calendar/ 5 days for State U, moving in to the dorms as a freshman. He has a good head and will do fine. He is also a teen aged male who I had a conversation about “i_am_so_smart” yesterday… and a few other normal trip-ups.

We’ve had a couple of area teens die in college so we’ve had the “pot isn’t safe” and “we love you even if you get an OWI” conversations.

Sometimes I’m fine. Sometimes I’m “fine.” He has one younger sibling; the house will be far quieter without him. Maybe that’s the part that’s creeping up: if he decides to do an internship next summer or not move back, this may easily be it. And that’s fine…. But I’m working through the idea.

Can I get a witness? Anyone else sending college students off?

 

[Skidude]

My oldest is leaving in /checks calendar/ 5 days for State U, moving in to the dorms as a freshman. He has a good head and will do fine. He is also a teen aged male who I had a conversation about “i_am_so_smart” yesterday… and a few other normal trip-ups.

We’ve had a couple of area teens die in college so we’ve had the “pot isn’t safe” and “we love you even if you get an OWI” conversations.

Sometimes I’m fine. Sometimes I’m “fine.” He has one younger sibling; the house will be far quieter without him. Maybe that’s the part that’s creeping up: if he decides to do an internship next summer or not move back, this may easily be it. And that’s fine…. But I’m working through the idea.

Can I get a witness? Anyone else sending college students off?

I know so many friends and neighbors that are doing this right now.

It is certainly a change for them and they all are dealing with it differently.

I know more than 1 that are ready.....

Others kind of sad..

All I can say is Good Job Mom, for raising a son and sending him off to higher education, you did something right!

 

[Foggy-Hollow]

I’m a first generation college grad, kind of struck me how my parents changed generations because they found a way to send me.

 

[Stace_wow]

My oldest is leaving in /checks calendar/ 5 days for State U, moving in to the dorms as a freshman. He has a good head and will do fine. He is also a teen aged male who I had a conversation about “i_am_so_smart” yesterday… and a few other normal trip-ups.

We’ve had a couple of area teens die in college so we’ve had the “pot isn’t safe” and “we love you even if you get an OWI” conversations.

Sometimes I’m fine. Sometimes I’m “fine.” He has one younger sibling; the house will be far quieter without him. Maybe that’s the part that’s creeping up: if he decides to do an internship next summer or not move back, this may easily be it. And that’s fine…. But I’m working through the idea.

Can I get a witness? Anyone else sending college students off?

Forgive me for my ignorance, but when you say "pot isn't safe" what exactly do you mean?

 

[AllCourtTENNIS 27687]

I'm on the other side of this now. Apple of my eye graduated college last year and changed schools for grad school. He's so much closer now but he is definitely a man, not the kid who left. We've spent some time together this past year, and I've had several moments of 'double vision.' It's like I look at him and see the man but out of the corner of my eye there are 7 or 8 versions of the kid he was that I can almost see. I have loved and missed all of them.

So, my advice, get used to crying while bursting with pride.

 

[cheaperseeker]

So, my advice, get used to crying while bursting with pride.

This. It's such a strange and intense feeling.

My youngest is heading to college 2000 miles away this year. Now all the kids will live too far away to see on a regular basis. My heart is breaking, yet I am so happy to see them succeeding.

 

[Foggy-Hollow]

Forgive me for my ignorance, but when you say "pot isn't safe" what exactly do you mean?

Fair question. I'm not against weed. Our hometown lost a student who smoked pot laced with fentanyl. He had been a DIII scholarship athlete, and had transferred to a DI as a regular student and was cutting loose. He went to sleep that night and never woke up. Unless I'm watching the person open the pack from the dispensary, I'll be avoiding and have advised my kids the same. "Random pot at a party isn't safe" would be more exact.

So, my advice, get used to crying while bursting with pride.

This. It's such a strange and intense feeling.

My youngest is heading to college 2000 miles away this year. Now all the kids will live too far away to see on a regular basis. My heart is breaking, yet I am so happy to see them succeeding.

YES. Such a mix of All The Feels.

 

[Stace_wow]

I understand your concern. The following is strictly for your information, not meant to change any minds at all, just to shed some light on it, and I hope it’s a comfort to you….

Weed laced with fent is not a thing. It’s way more likely someone lied about what happened.

If fire is taken to fent, the fire kills the fent….rendering it ‘bunk’ and not effective….likewise ‘vaping’ fent would also not be possible because that chemical compound would only vaporize at 4 times the heat that weed pens produce. It also isn’t immediately dangerous to the touch . This is all fear mongering. I have theories as to where it comes from, but I’ll save that for a different day lol.

I spent the entirety of my 20’s consuming illicit substances and I mean every single one, including weed (it was still illegal back then lol), and I NEVER got any ‘extra’ for free…not one time.

My hope is this is of some relief to you.

 

[Foggy-Hollow]

Thanks for being kind.

If fire is taken to fent, the fire kills the fent….rendering it ‘bunk’ and not effective

In-ter-est-ing. That passed by my RN sister (more personal experience with street drugs than I have). A quick google search says that there’s not a lot of data, and that it’s considered rare (fent laced pot). Thanks for sharing, sincerely. This is in a well off community, some people work extra hard to keep the perfect veneer in place.

I’ll sleep a little better, though I wasn’t losing too much sleep over it.

Tomorrow we drive in.

 

[Stace_wow]

Thanks for being kind.

In-ter-est-ing. That passed by my RN sister (more personal experience with street drugs than I have). A quick google search says that there’s not a lot of data, and that it’s considered rare (fent laced pot). Thanks for sharing, sincerely. This is in a well off community, some people work extra hard to keep the perfect veneer in place.

I’ll sleep a little better, though I wasn’t losing too much sleep over it.

Tomorrow we drive in.

I am glad to share esp if it helps a mom sleep a bit easier.

Good luck <3

 

[Skidude]

I understand your concern. The following is strictly for your information, not meant to change any minds at all, just to shed some light on it, and I hope it’s a comfort to you….

Weed laced with fent is not a thing. It’s way more likely someone lied about what happened.

If fire is taken to fent, the fire kills the fent….rendering it ‘bunk’ and not effective….likewise ‘vaping’ fent would also not be possible because that chemical compound would only vaporize at 4 times the heat that weed pens produce. It also isn’t immediately dangerous to the touch . This is all fear mongering. I have theories as to where it comes from, but I’ll save that for a different day lol.

I spent the entirety of my 20’s consuming illicit substances and I mean every single one, including weed (it was still illegal back then lol), and I NEVER got any ‘extra’ for free…not one time.

My hope is this is of some relief to you.

Although not very common to see it in Marijuana, as todays strains are quiet potent and affordable. There has no doubt been a rise in cocaine, meth, and ecstasy

I am afraid your information might be lacking regarding smoking Fent., it is quite common to see these foils up and down major drug trafficking areas across the country, and is a popularized form of ingesting fentanyl

[Imported image pending local asset: attachments-1786998550773-webp.36195]

National Library of Medicine publication

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Difficulty injecting and fear of overdose motivated transitions from injecting to smoking. Fentanyl was extremely cheap—$10/gram—with variability in quality. Foil was the most commonly used smoking material but glass bubbles, bongs and dabbing devices were also popular. No reliable visible methods for determining fentanyl quality existed, however, participants could gauge potency upon inhalation, and developed techniques to regulate dosage. Several participants reported at least hourly use, some reporting one or more grams of daily fentanyl consumption. Smoking was also very social, with people sharing equipment, drugs and information. Participants raised concerns about hygiene and overdose risk to others arising from shared equipment. Reportedly potent fentanyl ‘residue’ accumulated on smoking materials and was commonly shared/traded/stolen or consumed accidentally with diverse preferences for its use.

 

[JohnBlutarski]

Moved both kids this weekend. One will be done this December. One is a freshman, rooming with his 2 best friends.

My older kid, total nerd. Responsible beyond belief. Fishes and games for fun. Zero wasted semesters and has worked a well paying internship the last 2.5 years. He'll graduate with an engineering degree.

My younger one, he's been in his apartment 3 days and has gone to 4 fraternity parties and is already requesting a larger TV and new laptop. We have no idea what the next few months will hold.

 

[Stace_wow]

Although not very common to see it in Marijuana, as todays strains are quiet potent and affordable. There has no doubt been a rise in cocaine, meth, and ecstasy

I am afraid your information might be lacking regarding smoking Fent., it is quite common to see these foils up and down major drug trafficking areas across the country, and is a popularized form of ingesting fentanyl

View attachment 36195

National Library of Medicine publication

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Fire to fent is my reference, in a joint. I realize (and have) smoked off foil, and its not the same as taking fire directly to it. **Edited to add....smoking off foil is difficult to do cause you have to control the heat which is difficult to do with a bic and reynolds wrap

If someone says "lets smoke some weed" and pulls out foil, you would know you aren't smoking only weed. My main point is "lacing" weed is likely not happening.

 

[Skidude]

Fire to fent is my reference, in a joint. I realize (and have) smoked off foil, and its not the same as taking fire directly to it. **Edited to add....smoking off foil is difficult to do cause you have to control the heat which is difficult to do with a bic and reynolds wrap

If someone says "lets smoke some weed" and pulls out foil, you would know you aren't smoking only weed. My main point is "lacing" weed is likely not happening.

Ahh.. that makes sense-

I had to look it up, is is so counterintuitive and I have seen the videos of people smoking.

Apparently they are "vaping" and it is much less likely to vaporize in a joint as the temperature of the cherry is hot.

Apparently it is another of those odd things you learn...

Sorry to doubt you

 

[Stace_wow]

No worries! Its an odd thing to survive and be knowledgable about

 

[lastresort]

Fair question. I'm not against weed. Our hometown lost a student who smoked pot laced with fentanyl. He had been a DIII scholarship athlete, and had transferred to a DI as a regular student and was cutting loose. He went to sleep that night and never woke up. Unless I'm watching the person open the pack from the dispensary, I'll be avoiding and have advised my kids the same. "Random pot at a party isn't safe" would be more exact.

YES. Such a mix of All The Feels.

This reminds me...when I was doing a grad school in North Carolina, there was one specific neighbor spot near the campus that was notorious for drug dealings. One kid died because of a deal gone bad. What a sad way to end a young life.

 

[Foggy-Hollow]

Moved both kids this weekend. One will be done this December. One is a freshman, rooming with his 2 best friends.

My older kid, total nerd. Responsible beyond belief. Fishes and games for fun. Zero wasted semesters and has worked a well paying internship the last 2.5 years. He'll graduate with an engineering degree.

My younger one, he's been in his apartment 3 days and has gone to 4 fraternity parties and is already requesting a larger TV and new laptop. We have no idea what the next few months will hold.

That’s quite the contrast lol

Mine is usually much like your first. Which… dad/hubby and I are both STEM degrees so it makes sense. Hoping he doesn’t get pulled into a particular online game he’s been way too into this summer.

Your 2nd sounds like he’s being recruited- when I was on campus this is what it looked like for guys. He will have to make grades to stay in the house but … there’s a full package to it too. Good luck.

Mine is in and pretty settled. We got a call an hour after we left, he didn’t grab is pillow. At least it’s an easy fix.

 

[JohnBlutarski]

I think my biggest concern is that while we know his roommate's parents, we also know they are pretty lax. That is not us. I'm sure there is some amount of drinking, everything else is off limits. And drinking is really discouraged. I feel like if I can get both boys past these risky years, they can make better, more mature decisions.

I'm actually pretty surprised at the number of cool parents in our area. That is definitely not us. lol I feel like we've afforded both boys a lifestyle that demands a reasonable set of expectations. If I can get both through school debt-free, combined with work experience, their chance of success is good.

Anyways, here's to a good semester!

 

[cheaperseeker]

I think my biggest concern is that while we know his roommate's parents, we also know they are pretty lax. That is not us. I'm sure there is some amount of drinking, everything else is off limits. And drinking is really discouraged. I feel like if I can get both boys past these risky years, they can make better, more mature decisions.

I'm actually pretty surprised at the number of cool parents in our area. That is definitely not us. lol I feel like we've afforded both boys a lifestyle that demands a reasonable set of expectations. If I can get both through school debt-free, combined with work experience, their chance of success is good.

Anyways, here's to a good semester!

What do you mean off limits? Like you give them rules they have to follow? This seems really unusual to me, assuming that they are legal adults as most college students are.

I agree when we are paying for their education, we should have expectations that they will do well. My children know that they will have to pay us back for any classes that they fail, and we will not continue to pay if they aren't doing well overall. But using money/payment for college as a way to make them conform to the way I think they should live seems counterproductive in helping them to achieve their fullest potential.

As parents, it's so hard to let go and trust that they will survive, but college is the perfect time for them to have the autonomy to make mistakes and learn how to recover from them on their own, or if they can't do it on their own, when to ask for help. I see this as pushing past my own fears and accepting the developmental stage they are in, rather than being "lax".

 

[bamagirl26]

My oldest is leaving in /checks calendar/ 5 days for State U, moving in to the dorms as a freshman. He has a good head and will do fine. He is also a teen aged male who I had a conversation about “i_am_so_smart” yesterday… and a few other normal trip-ups.

We’ve had a couple of area teens die in college so we’ve had the “pot isn’t safe” and “we love you even if you get an OWI” conversations.

Sometimes I’m fine. Sometimes I’m “fine.” He has one younger sibling; the house will be far quieter without him. Maybe that’s the part that’s creeping up: if he decides to do an internship next summer or not move back, this may easily be it. And that’s fine…. But I’m working through the idea.

Can I get a witness? Anyone else sending college students off?

M baby just left for senior year. My third. Hard to believe my nest will soon en empty empty!!